What Barbie Teaches Us About Belonging, Becoming, and the Brave Work of Reimagining Ourselves
"True freedom begins when we see the myths that shaped us—and dare to build something more human, more just, and more whole." - Mary Coughlin
What Barbie Teaches Us About Belonging, Becoming, and the Brave Work of Reimagining Ourselves
There’s something extraordinary about a movie that takes a cultural icon—plastic, perfect, and impossibly idealized—and dares to make her human. Barbie is more than a fun, candy-colored satire. It’s a mirror—reflecting the very questions so many of us are asking right now:
Who am I when the world stops telling me who I should be?
What happens when we finally see the systems that shaped us for what they are?
And do we have the courage to imagine something better?
At first glance, Barbie’s existential crisis—flat feet, thoughts of death, messy imperfection—might seem trivial. But under the surface, it’s a story about awakening, belonging, and the brave, messy act of becoming.
A Trauma-Informed Lens on Barbie’s Journey
Through the lens of Trauma-Informed Developmental Care (TIDC) and Caring Science, Barbie’s arc mirrors the journey of anyone—baby, parent, clinician, or citizen—who is more than the role they’ve been assigned.
The B.U.F.F.E.R. framework reminds us that healing happens in relationship—when we are truly seen, understood, and empowered to grow. Barbie’s story carries each element of B.U.F.F.E.R.:
Belonging – She discovers that being valued for who you are, not what you perform, is the heart of connection.
Understanding – Gloria’s raw monologue on womanhood finally gives voice to the impossible standards that shape so many lives.
Forgiveness – Barbie lets herself off the hook for being “perfect” and gives herself permission to be human.
Frameworks – She realizes she can create a new story, not just live the one that was scripted for her.
Equanimity – The ending is not perfect; it holds complexity, humility, and hope.
Respect – Even Ken’s story reminds us that true empowerment requires mutual respect—not dominance or erasure.
Why Barbie Matters Now
We are living in a time of collective disillusionment. Our political, social, and economic systems are being revealed for what they are—often unjust, inequitable, and deeply harmful.
Like Barbie, we are waking up. We’re beginning to see how the myths we’ve been sold—about gender, power, success, and freedom—keep us stuck in systems that fail us.
But awakening is just the beginning.
Healing—whether for a baby in the NICU or a society in turmoil—requires courage, compassion, and co-creation. We must name what’s broken, feel the grief of what has been lost, and choose to build something new.
Barbie and the Work Ahead
Barbie doesn’t end with utopia. It ends with something far braver—authenticity.
Barbie chooses to be real. To be imperfect. To belong to herself.
This is the same invitation before us: to reimagine our world through care, justice, and belonging—not as passive dreamers, but as active weavers of a new reality.
It’s not just Barbie who needs this awakening.
It’s all of us.
Call to Reflection
What roles or expectations have shaped you in ways that feel limiting?
Where might you need to choose courage over perfection?
And what frameworks could we create—together—that honor dignity, connection, and healing for all?
Because the truth is, we can build a world that holds every person as whole, worthy, and free. But only if we choose to.
With fierce hope and unapologetic care,
Mary
