We Are the Legacy
“Real change doesn’t happen when one person carries the torch. It happens when we all do—each in our own way, each committed to the same goals: seeing, honoring, and empowering those in our care.” - Mary Coughlin
We Are the Legacy
We live in a time that can feel unbearably heavy.
The headlines tell stories of division, injustice, and suffering. Systems feel too big to change, and many of us feel too small to matter.
It’s easy to believe that meaningful change requires sweeping reform or loud, public acts of resistance.
But I’ve learned—over and over—that transformation often begins quietly.
It begins in the way we show up for each other.
A Story
There’s a story I hold close.
It’s not about a major discovery or an award. It’s about a quiet moment in a NICU where a nurse sat beside a new mother, held her hand, and whispered, “You’re not alone.”
No protocols. No forms. No step-by-step guide. Just presence.
And in that moment, everything shifted—for the mother, for the baby, and for the nurse herself.
But here’s the truth: if healing depends on the rare individual who “goes above and beyond,” nothing really changes.
Because when presence depends on who happens to be on shift that day, we leave families, babies, and even clinicians at the mercy of chance.
True culture change—true healing—cannot be left to individual heroics. It has to become the norm.
A collective commitment so deeply woven into the way we care, lead, and live that it becomes the air everyone breathes.
Not Banking Education—But Planting Seeds
For a long time, I thought my work was about teaching concepts—about providing knowledge, frameworks, and tools.
But as Paolo Freire so wisely taught, education is never about “depositing knowledge” into people’s heads. That kind of learning stays shallow. It doesn’t change who we are.
My work has never been about banking information.
It’s about connection.
About sparking something deeper—an awakening that moves from the head into the heart and soul, until it becomes part of how you live and lead.
The specifics of a trauma-informed culture—the checklists, the protocols, the scripts—aren’t what matter most.
What matters is the shared commitment to certain truths:
Every person deserves to feel seen.
Every person deserves to feel safe.
Every person deserves to feel empowered.
Dignity and compassion are not extras—they are essentials.
A Mosaic of Presence
Here’s the beauty: there is no single “right” way to embody this work.
My expression of presence will look different from yours.
Yours will look different from your colleague’s.
And that’s the point.
Like pieces of a mosaic, each of us brings a unique shape, color, and pattern to the whole. Alone, we are incomplete. Together, we create something breathtaking.
The Power of Showing Up
In times like these—when so many of us feel powerless—choosing to show up with intention, compassion, and courage may feel small.
But these choices are anything but small.
Every time you hold space for a parent, empower a colleague, or honor the dignity of a baby, you are planting seeds that will grow beyond what you can see.
This is how culture shifts.
Not in a single act, but in the slow, steady, collective choice to live differently.
We Are the Legacy
The torch is already lit.
It burns in every person who dares to lead with love.
In every clinician who redefines what care looks like.
In every advocate who quietly changes a policy or shifts a practice.
We are the legacy.
Not because of what we accomplish individually, but because of what we create together.
One choice.
One act of presence.
One seed at a time.
Real change doesn’t belong to the extraordinary few. It belongs to all of us, together, daring to live the kind of love and courage that outlasts us. This is our work. This is our legacy.
Take care and care well,
Mary
P.S. If you’ve ever wished that your entire team could embody this kind of care—not just a few extraordinary individuals—consider starting the journey together. Teams that commit collectively often see profound, lasting shifts in culture. Explore TIP 2.0 and consider creating a TIP Team at your facility
Because real change doesn’t happen when one person carries the torch. It happens when we all do.
