From Brutalism to Belonging: Redesigning the World from the NICU Out

“We were never meant to survive inside systems that forgot how to care. We were born to reimagine, to rebuild, to remember what it means to belong.” – Mary Coughlin

A Line That Reveals the System

They called the film The Brutalist.
It tells the story of an exiled Jewish architect, László, who survives unspeakable trauma and seeks to build something lasting in a country that offers him just enough permission to stay — but not enough power to belong.

Threaded throughout the story is a quiet refrain:
“You can park wherever you like.”

At first, it sounds like a courtesy.
But the more it repeats, the clearer it becomes:
It’s not an invitation. It’s a test.
Let’s see where you think you belong.

The Echo in Our Everyday Structures

I couldn’t shake that line.

Because I’ve heard it before.
Not in those words exactly, but in the systems I work in every day —
the hospitals, policies, procedures, and power structures that were never designed with every body in mind.

And still, so many of us are trying to build something better inside them.

Where Progress Meets a Painful Blueprint

In the NICU — where I’ve spent my life’s work —
we care for the smallest, most vulnerable humans.
And in so many ways, we’ve made real progress.

We’ve brought parents into rounds.
We’ve softened the lighting.
We’ve trained clinicians on trauma, attachment, and emotional safety.

I see the heart.
I see the effort.
I see the incredible humans doing their very best inside a system that was never fully built for healing.

But even still…
the structure hasn’t shifted enough.
The design still privileges efficiency over empathy.
Policies still reflect power more than partnership.

We’ve taken steps forward — yes —
but we’re still asking families,
and sometimes even staff,
to park in spaces never meant for them.

Naming Without Blaming

This is not about blame.
This is about bravery.

The bravery to name that the blueprint is incomplete.
That healing requires more than intention — it requires transformation.

It’s not just about making room for people.
It’s about making people feel like the room was made for them.

That’s the difference between permission and belonging.
Between you can park wherever you like
and you were expected. You matter. This space is yours, too.

The NICU as a Mirror of Society

The NICU is a mirror.
And what we see there reflects the wider world.

Right now, we are watching our democracy buckle under the weight of systems built on exclusion, fear, and control.
We are hearing the same polite phrases:
“You’re free to choose.”
“You can protest.”
“You can park wherever you like.”

But behind those words is the same old test:
How far will you go before you’re put back in your place?

The Call to Reimagine, Not Repair

That’s why I do this work.
Not just to teach trauma-informed developmental care —
but to reimagine the world from the inside out.

To hold space for both the progress and the pain.
To amplify the courage I see in every NICU nurse, social worker, chaplain, parent, and physician
who is showing up with love inside a system that sometimes forgets how to love back.

And to say:
It’s time.
Time to stop trying to wedge healing into a brutalist structure.
Time to redesign it altogether.

From Hollow Permission to Deep Presence

The REIMAGINE Movement isn’t just about policy or politics.
It’s about architecture of the soul.

It’s about replacing control with connection.
Efficiency with empathy.
Permission with presence.

It’s about asking:
What would it mean to build a world where we all feel expected, protected, and profoundly valued?

This Is a Call Forward, Not a Takedown

So no — this isn’t a takedown.
This is a call forward.

To my colleagues in the NICU:
Your progress is real. Your compassion is fierce. Your work matters.
And we can go further — together.

To those in the halls of power:
Safety, trust, equity, voice, and compassion aren’t just nice-to-haves.
They are the foundation of anything worth building.

To all of us:
Let’s stop mistaking “you can park wherever you like” for justice.

And instead,
let’s co-create the kind of world where we know, in our bones,
that the space was made for us.

With heart, truth, and an unwavering belief that we can do better—
Mary

Take care and care well. 💛

P.S.: If this stirred something in you — a knowing, a question, a deep remembering — you’re not alone. That’s the beginning of the reimagining.
Let it rise.
Then let it guide you.

Because this isn’t just my work. It’s ours.
And the future?
We’re building it together.