The Whole Loaf: Embracing Wholeness in Trauma-Informed Care
"The world doesn’t need fragments of you; it needs your fullness. Bring your whole loaf—your wholeness, your authenticity, your heart—because healing happens when we show up as our true, undivided selves." - Mary Coughlin
The Whole Loaf: Embracing Wholeness in Trauma-Informed Care
When I was a kid, my dad often sent me to the market with a simple instruction: “Buy a pound of bologna, and ask them to slice it paper thin.” The idea was practical—more slices made it feel like there was more to go around. But when we made sandwiches with those paper-thin slices, they always felt lacking. Three slices of bologna that thin barely filled the bread. It was still a pound, sure, but stretched so far it lost its substance.
I think about that bologna sometimes—not as food, but as a metaphor for how we show up in life, especially as caregivers.
As clinicians, parents, and professionals, we’re often asked to wear many hats. Nurse. Mother. Advocate. Errand-runner. Chart-writer. Caregiver. Each role demands a piece of us, and so we slice ourselves thinner and thinner, offering fragments of who we are. But when we show up as just one thin slice of ourselves, we can’t offer the fullness and richness of what we bring to the table. And just like those sandwiches, it leaves us—and others—feeling unsatisfied.
The Problem with Thin Slices
When we divide ourselves into roles, we leave parts of our humanity behind. In the NICU, for example, it’s easy to see the baby as just a "patient" or the family as "visitors." Similarly, we may see ourselves as simply a "task-doer" or "fixer." These labels create compartments—not just for others but for ourselves.
The result? Fragmented care and disconnection. When we slice ourselves thin, the piece of us that shows up isn’t enough because it’s missing the richness of our whole being—our compassion, creativity, vulnerability, and humanity.
But here’s the truth: Trauma-Informed Developmental Care (TIDC) and Caring Science teach us that wholeness is the foundation of healing. Babies, families, and clinicians alike deserve care that integrates every dimension of who we are—our physical, emotional, and spiritual selves. And to offer that kind of care, we need to bring our whole loaf, not just a slice.
Bringing the Whole Loaf
The whole loaf is a symbol of abundance, authenticity, and connection. It reminds us that we don’t have to fragment ourselves to fit into roles. Instead, we can bring the fullness of who we are—our whole loaf—to every interaction, task, and relationship.
Here’s how this idea connects to the principles of TIDC and Caring Science:
Wholeness for the Baby
Babies in the NICU are whole beings—not just their medical conditions or developmental needs. TIDC invites us to see the baby as a person, honoring their physical, emotional, and relational needs. By recognizing their wholeness, we support healing in every sense of the word.Wholeness for the Family
Families bring their entire lives, histories, and emotions into the NICU. We honor their wholeness by creating spaces of safety, trust, and empowerment—allowing them to show up as their authentic selves, even in their most vulnerable moments.Wholeness for the Clinician
Clinicians are more than the roles they play. When we bring our whole selves—our compassion, humor, wisdom, and even vulnerability—to our work, we not only provide better care but also protect ourselves from burnout. Wholeness nourishes both us and those we serve.
Steps Toward Wholeness
How can we bring our whole loaf to trauma-informed care? Here are a few practical steps:
Reflect on Your "Slices"
Take time to identify the roles you step into throughout your day. What parts of yourself do you leave behind when you put on these labels? What would it look like to integrate those missing parts into each role?Embrace Authentic Connection
Build relationships with families, colleagues, and even yourself that are rooted in trust and vulnerability. Let your full humanity—not just your professional persona—shine through.Prioritize Self-Compassion
Wholeness starts with how we treat ourselves. Make space for self-care, reflection, and rest. A whole loaf needs time to rise—it can’t be made in a rush.Commit to Holistic Care
In your practice, look beyond the immediate task. Ask, “What does this baby, this family, or this colleague need to feel whole in this moment?” Then offer your whole self in response.
Nourishing the World with Our Wholeness
That pound of bologna never stopped being a pound—it was always whole. But when it was sliced too thin, it lost its ability to nourish. The same is true for us.
The world doesn’t need fragments of you. It needs your fullness. Your authenticity. Your whole loaf. Because when we bring our whole selves to the table, we nourish not just others but also ourselves. We build relationships rooted in trust, care, and connection. We create the conditions for healing—not just for babies and families, but for the clinicians who care for them, too.
So, the next time you feel the urge to slice yourself thin to fit into all the roles you play, pause. Take a deep breath. And bring your whole loaf. The world will be better for it.
With love and care,
Mary
P.S.
I’d love to hear your thoughts! What does "bringing your whole loaf" mean to you? Share your reflections in the comments or send me a message—I can’t wait to connect and learn from you.
