Pulleys of Love: Lifting Each Other Through the Weight of Grief

“In the hardest moments, we become pulleys for each other, lifting the weight of sorrow with compassion and shared strength.” - Mary Coughlin

Pulleys of Love: Lifting Each Other Through the Weight of Grief

There’s a quiet, hidden strength in the ways we support each other through times of loss and sorrow. Recently, a dear colleague shared a story with me that I haven’t been able to shake—a story about loss, resilience, and a unique metaphor that captured the essence of how we hold each other up when life feels heaviest.

Four years ago, she lost her teenage daughter, a vibrant soul taken far too soon. Each year, on the anniversary of her passing, the grief feels fresh, resurfacing with an intensity that could pull anyone under. Yet, my colleague and her family have created something remarkable out of that pain—a 24-hour prayer vigil, organized by friends, family, and even strangers. It’s a time for reflection, for sharing memories, and for supporting each other, moment by moment, as they navigate this journey of remembrance.

As she told me about this ritual, she used a beautiful metaphor that captured the essence of their experience. “We get to be pulleys for each other,” she said. “Lifting each other up during times of strife and struggle.” It was such a powerful image. Pulleys—simple machines that multiply force, that help lift what’s too heavy to lift alone. We get to be that extra strength, that source of light and support, lifting each other’s burdens just enough so they don’t feel quite so impossible.

This idea of being pulleys for each other—of helping carry the weight of grief, loss, and hardship—felt like a song. A song of resilience and compassion, of friendship and love. And in thinking about the lyrics, I was reminded of how universal this need is. We all have moments when the weight feels too much to bear. But we also have each other, and in that connection, we find strength.

Here’s a verse from the song inspired by her story:

“We are pulleys for each other, lifting up the load,
Through the dark and heavy nights, down the long and winding road.
When the heart is heavy, and the pain too much,
We rise together, 'pulleyed' by sacred loving touch”

Through this metaphor, I see a message of hope for all of us who face life’s heaviest moments. Just like pulleys in a machine, we are connected, and our combined strength can move mountains. Grief, sorrow, and hardship may feel like immovable weights, but with each hand that reaches out, each prayer whispered, and each moment of compassion, we help lift each other through.

In those times when we’re unable to stand on our own, let’s remember that we are never alone. We have a community of “pulleys” around us, people who are there to share the weight, to lift, to steady, and to remind us that even the heaviest burdens can be shared.

This post is dedicated to those who are carrying loss, and to everyone who has ever been a “pulley” for someone in need. May we all continue to be a force of love, a source of strength, and a light for each other.

As we think about the pulleys in our own lives—the people who’ve helped lift us up when we couldn’t stand on our own—it’s a reminder of the power we each hold to make a difference. Being a source of strength, hope, and understanding isn’t just something we do in moments of crisis; it’s a way of living and a commitment we can carry forward every day.

If you feel called to deepen your ability to be a “pulley” for others, to understand the ways that trauma impacts us all and learn how to support healing through compassion and knowledge, consider becoming a Trauma-Informed Professional. Trauma-Informed Developmental Care is more than a skill set; it’s a transformative way of caring that honors each person’s unique journey and meets them with empathy, patience, and love.

By becoming a Trauma-Informed Professional, you’ll be equipped to make a lasting impact—not only on those in your care but within your own heart and community. Because together, we rise, hand over hand, lifting each other’s burdens, becoming pulleys of love and resilience in the world.

With love and gratitude for every “pulley” in my life, lifting me up when I need it most. May we all find ways to be that strength for each other.

In kindness and community,

Mary Coughlin