When the Wound Is the Leader: Benedict Arnold, Donald Trump, and the Soul of a Nation
“When a leader carries unhealed wounds, the nation bleeds.” —Mary Coughlin
When the Wound Is the Leader: Benedict Arnold, Donald Trump, and the Soul of a Nation
There is a wound in our nation’s story that has never truly healed.
In 1780, a man who once stood as a hero of the American Revolution—Benedict Arnold—made a secret pact with the enemy, attempting to hand over West Point to the British in exchange for money and power. He felt slighted. Undervalued. Betrayed. And in return, he betrayed the people and the very ideals he once fought for.
Fast forward nearly 250 years.
Another man, also once entrusted with the highest hopes of a people, also claimed betrayal. Also could not abide the thought of defeat. Also chose retribution over reconciliation. And like Arnold, Donald Trump has turned his personal grievance into a campaign of sabotage—not against a military fort, but against the very soul of American democracy.
He is not doing it alone.
He is building a movement not grounded in policy, but in punishment. Not in truth, but in tribal allegiance. Not in care, but in control.
The Psychology of Betrayal
As someone who has spent a lifetime working with trauma—understanding it, naming it, and healing it—I see the signs clearly.
Trauma does not just affect people. It affects systems. When a leader becomes the embodiment of unprocessed trauma—narcissistic injury, historical resentment, grievance—it becomes contagious. It fractures communities. It erodes trust. It breeds cycles of abuse and silence.
The Trauma-Informed lens teaches us that betrayal is one of the deepest wounds a human (or a nation) can suffer. And when betrayal comes from someone who was supposed to protect, uplift, and lead, the damage goes soul-deep.
That is what we are living through.
From TIC to TIN—Trauma-Informed Nationhood
My work in Trauma-Informed Developmental Care (TIDC) has always centered on protecting the vulnerable: babies, families, clinicians. But the core principles apply just as urgently to civic life:
Safety (Are we safe to speak, protest, vote?)
Transparency & Trust (Do our leaders uphold truth and accountability?)
Empowerment, Voice, and Choice (Do we still have agency in our shared future?)
Equity, Anti-Bias, and Belonging (Are all people included in “We the People”?)
When these principles are eroded, people become dysregulated. Disconnected. Disillusioned. And that’s where authoritarianism seeps in—offering the illusion of control in the face of chaos.
The BUFFER We Need
That’s why I believe our moment demands a B.U.F.F.E.R.—a trauma-informed, soul-centered strategy for resisting betrayal and reweaving the fabric of our nation:
Belonging over exclusion
Understanding over distortion
Forgiveness over vengeance
Frameworks that protect the vulnerable
Equanimity in the face of chaos
Respect for every human life
We don’t defeat traitors by becoming them.
We heal betrayal by refusing to participate in the cycle.
We build a new America—not by erasing the past, but by redeeming it.
This Is Our Time
We are not the first generation to face a crisis of conscience. But we may be the last one with the time, tools, and tenacity to truly change course.
We are the ancestors of the future.
Let’s give them a story worth inheriting.
Sincerely, with fire in my bones and hope in my hands,
Mary
P.S.: If this stirred something in you—if you’re ready to reimagine leadership, care, and the future we’re building together—you’re not alone. This is the heart of the REIMAGINE Movement and the soul of becoming a Trauma-Informed Professional (TIP).
✨ Join us in weaving a world where power heals instead of harms.
Let’s reimagine—together. 🧵
Haven’t heard The Great Weaving yet? These bedtime stories aren’t just for rest—they’re for remembering. They just might awaken the part of you ready to reimagine everything.
