When Democracy Drinks the Kool-Aid: A Trauma-Informed Reflection on Cults, Control, and Collective Healing
“When we reimagine who we are to each other, we recover the thread of what’s possible.” — Mary Coughlin
When Democracy Drinks the Kool-Aid: A Trauma-Informed Reflection on Cults, Control, and Collective Healing
There’s a strange sense of déjà vu in the air.
People speaking in slogans instead of sentences.
Leaders demanding loyalty instead of integrity.
Communities split open over who is “right” and who is “ruined.”
It’s like watching a national reenactment of Jonestown and the Moonies, only this time, we’re not in a remote jungle — we’re right here, in the United States of America.
It’s not an exaggeration to say the political climate has taken on cult-like energy — not just in one party, not just in one movement, but across the spectrum. And from my perspective as a trauma-informed professional, the parallels are not only eerie… they are instructive.
Because this isn’t just a crisis of governance —
This is a crisis of the nervous system.
Cults Are a Trauma Response
Cults prey on fear, isolation, and unprocessed pain. They offer certainty when the world feels chaotic. They provide a sense of belonging — at a cost. The very same psychological conditions that drive a person into a harmful group dynamic… are showing up on a national scale.
We are watching:
Charismatic leaders elevated as saviors.
Disinformation spread like doctrine.
Dissent punished as betrayal.
Critical thinking replaced by emotional reactivity.
And communities fragmented by binary, us-vs-them narratives.
This is trauma behavior.
From BUFFER to Breakdown
In my work, I speak often about the B.U.F.F.E.R. Framework — six essential elements that allow human beings (especially the most vulnerable among us) to heal, grow, and thrive.
Let’s apply those elements to what we’re seeing in today’s political and cultural landscape:
Belonging
We are wired for connection. But when healthy belonging is absent, people will find it in dangerous places. Political identities become substitute families. Movements become echo chambers. And before long, loyalty becomes more important than truth.
Understood
The complexity of our world can be overwhelming. Instead of fostering dialogue, we’re fed simplified sound bites that reinforce what we already believe. We stop listening. We stop learning. We stop seeking to understand — and instead, demand to be agreed with.
Forgiveness
There is no path to healing without reckoning. And yet, our systems (political, judicial, cultural) are built on punishment and retribution. We cancel, exile, mock, and destroy — all while bypassing the hard but necessary work of repair.
Frameworks
Cults offer a rigid ideology. But what we need are coherent frameworks that make space for nuance, inquiry, and growth. Trauma-informed care doesn’t offer dogma — it offers guidance that empowers people to show up fully, responsibly, and relationally.
Equanimity
Our collective nervous system is dysregulated. We are reactive, not reflective. We need practices that invite stillness, pause, and presence. We need space to breathe — so we can respond, not just react.
Respect
Democracy dies without it. When we dehumanize those we disagree with, we chip away at the very foundation of a free society. Respect is not agreement — it’s a recognition of shared dignity, even in difference.
From Kool-Aid to Consciousness
The phrase “drinking the Kool-Aid” has become a cultural shorthand for blind allegiance. But I want to ask a deeper question:
What if we stopped drinking anything handed to us without question — and started cultivating a national palate for truth, courage, and care?
What if we stopped reenacting old traumas…
And started writing a new story?
The Invitation
This isn’t just political commentary. It’s a call to consciousness.
If we are going to restore the soul of democracy, we must do it in the same way we restore a fragile, frightened baby in a NICU:
With gentleness.
With intention.
With truth.
And always, always with care.
I created the REIMAGINE Movement and The People’s Declaration because I believe we can do better — not just by resisting what’s wrong, but by reweaving what’s right.
We are the ancestors of the future.
Let’s not leave them the bitter brew of fear and fanaticism.
Let’s offer them a new kind of nourishment — one rooted in wisdom, healing, and radical belonging.
Reflect & Respond
Where in your life or community do you notice cult-like behavior?
How might you bring BUFFER energy into those spaces?
What Kool-Aid are you being asked to drink — and what’s your body telling you about it?
Let’s talk about it.
Let’s breathe together.
Let’s reimagine what democracy — and our shared humanity — could look like.
With care and courage,
Mary
P.S. We don’t need another leader to save us.
We need each other — awake, courageous, and connected.
This isn’t just a moment to resist what’s broken.
It’s a moment to remember who we are
and reimagine what we’re here to build.
Let’s not drink the Kool-Aid.
Let’s weave the future.
If this resonates, share this post.
Sign The People’s Declaration.
We’re not waiting for change.
We are becoming it.
