What Does Merit Really Mean? A Soulful Look at Leadership, Values, and the Myth of the “Return to Meritocracy”

“Merit that isn’t grounded in values—rooted in humanity—is just a smokescreen for maintaining the status quo.” - Mary Coughlin

Lately, I’ve noticed a rising chorus calling for a “return to meritocracy” in our workplaces, institutions, and public life. On the surface, it sounds noble—fair, even. Shouldn’t opportunity be based on merit? On who’s most qualified, most capable, most prepared?

But that’s the thing. When we really pause and reflect, we’re invited to ask: What does merit really mean? Who decides? And what values are shaping that definition?

Because the truth is, much of what we call "merit" has long been entangled with access, privilege, and proximity to power—not just skill or potential. And when we dismantle initiatives aimed at equity and inclusion in the name of fairness, what we’re often doing is reinforcing the very systems that have historically excluded so many.

This isn’t about shame or blame. It’s about honesty—and hope.

Merit, Misdefined

The myth of meritocracy tells us that success is purely the result of hard work and talent. But we know that story leaves out a lot:

• The networks we’re born into (or not).

• The unspoken norms we’re expected to follow.

• The emotional labor and lived experience we carry.

• The doors that open easily for some and remain locked for others.

When we frame Diversity, Equity, and Inclusion (DEI) as being at odds with excellence, we’re misunderstanding both. Because inclusion is excellence. Representation is leadership. Empathy is intelligence.

And yet, in some circles, these truths are being pushed aside in favor of a narrower, more transactional version of success.

A Different Lens on Leadership

To explore this more deeply, I created a values-based leadership framework—looking not just at outcomes, but at how those outcomes are achieved.

We developed a 10-point reflection tool to assess leadership qualities across diverse sectors, focusing not on popularity or profit, but on principles:

• Visionary Thinking

• Integrity & Ethics

• Adaptability

• Empathy & Emotional Intelligence

• Strategic Decision-Making

• Strong Communication

• Resilience & Grit

• Commitment to Growth

• People-Centered Leadership

• Impact-Driven Practice

Each leader received a letter grade across these 10 dimensions, using a 4.3-style GPA system. The goal wasn’t to rank or judge—it was to reflect.

We assessed a diverse mix of high-profile individuals from business, politics, and media. To keep the focus on the message—not the individual—we used initials only in our public materials. Here’s a snapshot of the results:

📊 Note: This chart is part of an ongoing exploration of what values-centered leadership looks like. It’s not about who’s “good” or “bad,” but about imagining a different way to measure impact, integrity, and care in our leaders.

What Emerged Was Clear

Those who lead with compassion, integrity, and vision consistently rose to the top. And it reminded me that maybe what we need isn’t a “return” to anything—but a reimagining of everything.

And that’s when something deeper emerged. A theme that wove through the highest-scoring profiles. It wasn’t just intelligence or strategy or innovation. It was something harder to quantify—but impossible to ignore:

soul.

The Soul of Leadership

Our top scorers, IN (4.18 GPA) and OW (4.12 GPA), stood out not just for what they achieved, but how they achieved it. They lead not just with their minds, but with their hearts. They have vision tethered to compassion, ambition grounded in humility, and power held in service to healing.

They model the very foundations of Trauma-Informed Developmental Care and the B.U.F.F.E.R. framework:

• They cultivate belonging.

• They strive to be understanding.

• They practice forgiveness and respect.

• They anchor their work in equanimity and ethical frameworks that honor humanity.

Compare this to leaders who may be visible or successful by conventional standards, but who lack emotional attunement, ethical grounding, or any meaningful commitment to others' growth. Our analysis made one thing unmistakably clear:

The most effective, resilient, and transformative leaders aren’t just strategic—they’re soulful.

This mirrors what we know from our work in trauma-informed care: people thrive in the presence of relational safety, not control; compassion, not charisma; growth, not performativity.

As we expand this work through the REIMAGINE Movement, we invite you to see leadership not as a title, but as a practice. Not as a hierarchy, but as a healing force.

So we ask:

What if the future of leadership isn’t about being the loudest in the room, but about being the most grounded, most compassionate, most courageous presence in the room?

So… What Are We Really Valuing?

If removing DEI efforts is framed as “fair,” but the result is fewer voices at the table… If leadership is reduced to quarterly wins but ignores long-term harm… If empathy, equity, and accountability are dismissed as soft or optional…

Then maybe what we’re calling “merit” is just a mirror reflecting old habits back at us.

We don’t need to “return” to meritocracy. We need to redefine it.

A real meritocracy would see the full person. A real meritocracy would expand opportunity. A real meritocracy would include the values that actually move us forward—together.

So here’s my invitation:

• What does merit mean to you—when defined by your values?

• Who do you consider a great leader, and why?

• What would it look like to lead, hire, reward, and uplift based on wholeness, not just output?

Closing Thought

We are living in a time of deep redefinition. And that’s not something to fear—it’s something to shape.

Let’s shape it wisely. Let’s shape it together.

Want to explore the data more deeply? Download the full de-identified spreadsheet of leader evaluations and see how the GPA rankings played out across all 13 individuals.

And if this vision speaks to you, join us.

Become part of the REIMAGINE Movement. Because caring isn’t optional. It’s essential. And so is the courage to name what matters.

Join us on April 19th, Patriot's Day for our REIMAGINE THE FUTURE Town Hall! REGISTER HERE!

With purpose, presence, and power,

Mary

P.S.: If this reflection stirred something in you—if you're feeling the call to explore what it means to lead with more heart, more wholeness, and more humanity—consider joining us in person.

This fall, we're gathering for the Trauma-Informed Leadership Retreat, a space for deep reflection, soulful learning, and transformational connection. It's not a conference. It's a recalibration. A remembering. A return to the kind of leadership that heals.

🌲 Learn more about the retreat here
🧭 Reconnect with your values. Rediscover your voice. Reimagine your way forward.