We Don’t Need Another Apprentice—We Need Leaders Who Heal

“We didn’t just lose our way because of one man. We lost our way because we forgot that democracy is not a spectator sport. The time to reclaim it is now.” - Mary Coughlin

There’s a certain American romance to “getting away with it.”

We secretly admire the one who cheats the system, wins at any cost, bends reality until truth no longer matters. Donald Trump learned this playbook from Roy Cohn, the infamous lawyer who told him in 1973:

“You play the man, not the ball. Forget right and wrong. Forget morality. None of it matters—except winning.”

Attack. Deny. Claim victory.
That’s the entire philosophy.

And it worked. For decades. Trump became Cohn’s apprentice—not just in law, but in life. He learned that bullying works, that you can delay, deflect, and distract your way out of accountability. He learned that if you say something loudly enough and long enough, facts don’t matter—only the perception of strength does.

But here’s the truth no one tells you:
This isn’t leadership.

It’s domination.
It’s fear.
It’s the slow corrosion of everything that makes us human—and everything that makes democracy possible.

The Cost of “Winning” at All Costs

When leaders treat truth as expendable, laws lose their meaning, institutions lose their integrity, and citizens lose their power.

This kind of leadership undermines democracy itself.
It erodes trust in elections, courts, the press, and the very idea of a shared reality.

Trump didn’t invent this playbook. He inherited it—from Roy Cohn, yes, but also from generations of leaders who taught us that greed is strength, compassion is weakness, and power belongs to the few.

We got here because we allowed that lie to take root—because we learned to admire the bully, to equate wealth with worth, and to believe that winning matters more than humanity.

There Is Another Way

I’ve spent my life in the spaces where science meets soul—where care becomes healing, and where belonging changes everything. My work in trauma‑informed developmental care, in TIP 2.0, and in the B.U.F.F.E.R. framework is about cultivating a different kind of power:

• Power that heals instead of harms.

• Power that invites rather than intimidates.

• Power that measures success not in victories, but in lives transformed.

Leadership rooted in belonging, understanding, forgiveness, frameworks, equanimity, and respect is not “soft.” It is radically disruptive—because it refuses to play by Cohn’s rules.

The Leaders We Need Now

We are at a crossroads.

We can continue to follow apprentices of domination—those who see power as the right to control, silence, and win at all costs.

Or we can choose leaders—and become leaders ourselves—who understand that the survival of democracy depends on courage, accountability, and care.

Because if we keep admiring the ones who “get away with it,” we will lose not just our democracy but our shared humanity.

So, I Ask You:

• What kind of ancestor do you want to be?

• What future do you want your children, and their children, to inherit?

• When they ask, “What did you do when democracy was on the line?”—what will you say?

It’s Time.

To resist the politics of cruelty.
To reject the leaders who thrive on division.
To reimagine a future where power heals, connects, and uplifts.

Because the truth is this: we didn’t just lose our way because of one man.
We lost our way because, for too long, we forgot that democracy is not a spectator sport.

The time to reclaim it is now.

We don’t need more apprentices of Roy Cohn.
We need leaders who heal.

And we are the ones we’ve been waiting for.

In solidarity and love,

Mary