Are People Really Good at Heart? A Trauma-Informed Look at Harm and Healing

"Harm is not born—it is inherited, learned, and fueled by fear. But if trauma can be passed down, so can healing. Our work is not just to call out the harm, but to break the cycle and build something new. Healing is not passive. It is resistance. It is revolution." - Mary Coughlin

Throughout my life, I’ve held the belief that people are good at heart. That, at our core, we are wired for connection, care, and community. But how do we reconcile this belief when we see individuals and leaders making decisions that harm others—sometimes on an enormous scale?

It’s tempting to dismiss harmful actions as the result of greed, ignorance, or cruelty. But what if something deeper is at play? What if, instead of labeling people as “bad,” we looked at these actions through a trauma-informed lens—one that acknowledges how fear, survival, and generational wounds shape human behavior?

The Neuroscience of Fear & Survival

When people feel threatened—whether physically, emotionally, or ideologically—the brain shifts into survival mode. This triggers the fight-flight-freeze-fawn response, mechanisms designed to protect us from harm. But what happens when entire systems and societies operate from this place?

• Fight: Aggression, control, and dominance over others to maintain perceived safety.

• Flight: Avoidance, denial, and turning away from uncomfortable truths.

• Freeze: Inaction, paralysis, and feeling powerless to change harmful systems.

• Fawn: Appeasing those in power, even at the cost of justice and dignity.

These aren’t just individual responses; they are collective patterns that show up in politics, healthcare, education, and global policies. When people feel unsafe—whether due to economic uncertainty, shifting cultural norms, or deep-seated trauma—they often default to harmful choices in the name of “protection.”

Generational Trauma & Systemic Harm

Harmful decisions don’t exist in isolation. They are often inherited patterns, shaped by generational trauma and historical wounds:

• A history of oppression and displacement can fuel hyper-individualism and exclusion.

• Economic instability can drive policies that prioritize profit over people.

• A culture of punishment and control (rather than healing and repair) can make empathy feel like weakness.

This is why entire institutions—from governments to healthcare systems—often perpetuate harm even when individuals within them believe they are doing the right thing.

Understanding Without Excusing

Recognizing that harm is often a trauma response does not mean we excuse it. Understanding is not the same as condoning. Rather, it helps us answer an essential question:

How do we interrupt the cycles of harm and move toward collective healing?

The Path Forward: A Call to Action

If trauma is at the root of so much harm, then healing must be the foundation of change.

1. Expand Awareness

We must help people recognize when fear and trauma—not logic, ethics, or humanity—are driving decisions. Educating ourselves and others on how trauma shapes political and social systems is essential.

📚 Resource: Holocaust, Genocide, and Human Rights Education Initiative

2. Build Safety & Connection

People cling to harmful ideologies when they feel unsafe. Creating spaces of belonging and dialogue reduces the perceived threats that drive fear-based decisions.

🤝 Join the movement: Braver Angels - Bridge Divides & Build Civic Dialogue

3. Take Civic Action

Policy change must reflect trauma-informed principles. This means electing leaders who prioritize healing, equity, and care—not punishment and fear.

🗳️ Check your voter registration & make a plan: Vote.org

4. Hold Compassionate Accountability

We must call out harm without replicating it. True justice is not about shaming people into change—it’s about dismantling harmful systems and offering pathways to transformation.

📢 Speak up & demand better leadership: Find Your Elected Officials

The Bottom Line: Healing IS Resistance

People are not born wanting to harm others. But when trauma, fear, and disconnection rule, harm becomes inevitable.

Our work is to interrupt that cycle—not just in our personal lives, but in the policies, systems, and institutions that shape the world.

"Harm is not born—it is inherited, learned, and fueled by fear. But if trauma can be passed down, so can healing. Our work is not just to call out the harm, but to break the cycle and build something new. Healing is not passive. It is resistance. It is revolution."

Caring isn’t passive. It’s an act of resistance. It’s an act of revolution.

How will you show up?

The time for passive hope is over. Healing is not waiting—it is acting. The world we want won’t build itself. We are the builders. We are the Buffer.

With conviction, courage, and care,
Mary

P.S.: Every system, every policy, every choice is either trauma-informed or trauma-perpetuating. What will you choose?